How about we simply allow the public to carry on heating their homes and driving their cars?” Anyone got any ideas to help us deliver on this vital pledge?” As you will recall, during the Conservative party leadership contest I made a firm commitment to slaughter vast swathes of the British population. How exactly such a “plan” would have been drawn up, I don’t know. Instead it suggests that ministers are causing climate change on purpose, in a deliberate plot to kill us all.
It would be one thing to say, “Climate change will cause people to die, and ministers aren’t doing enough to prevent it.” Yet this tweet doesn’t say that. On Thursday, the Just Stop Oil Twitter account accused the Government of “actively planning genocide”. At any rate, their rhetoric is becoming more and more deranged. Perhaps they aren’t merely smearing themselves with glue, but sniffing it. Just Stop Oil protesters seem to be growing loopier by the day. So, since we’re doomed either way, we might as well enjoy ourselves. So while telling us that going outdoors will give us heat stroke, it should also tell us that staying indoors will cause a deficiency in vitamin D, leading to osteoporosis. So I’m fairly sure they know how to cope.Īnyway, BBC reporting is meant to be balanced. But unless they’ve just emigrated from Lapland, surely they’ll have experienced a sunny June afternoon at some point during their seven or more decades on Earth. Pensioners keep being warned that they’re in particular danger. As if the sun has escaped from a lab in China, and we need to go into lockdown till Chris Whitty can work out how to get rid of it. Yet councils all over the country are urging us all to “take care”. In short: a lovely, but unremarkable, summer’s day. The maximum predicted temperature is 30C, or 86F. Sounds alarming – until you glance at the actual forecast. Apparently, the “Head of Extreme Events” at the UK Health Security Agency warns us to “keep hydrated” and “check in on” any vulnerable friends, family or neighbours. All the same, I wish its reporters would stop panicking about it.Īccording to BBC News, today is going to be so terrifyingly hot that the public has been issued with a “heat-health alert”. Given that this country has only just emerged from the longest and most miserable winter in living memory, perhaps it’s understandable that the BBC seems so startled by the sudden appearance of that strange round yellow thing in the sky.
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